Its about making memories worth repressing
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
