This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
