There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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