shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
