Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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