At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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