please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
