It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I smell like Dick and happiness
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
