You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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