i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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