oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
