I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
