So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just high enough for therapy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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