I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're breaking my sexual little heart
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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