11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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