one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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