She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
