she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
