my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I could fuck to npr.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize