Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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