Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
