He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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