Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
did i walk over a car last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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