I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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