i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We named our party play list daddy issues
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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