shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You are a genius and a whore.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
