i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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