I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
