just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
