I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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