Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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