You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
