i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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