whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
