There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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