GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
