i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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