I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
