so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
