Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just had sex on a roof
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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