dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
