Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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