oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
they need to just BURY HIM!
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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