You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
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