Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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