Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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