I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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