Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
