Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wish my penis had a tongue
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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