on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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