you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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