she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize