it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
