Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
