Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
