I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
