"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
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