Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
