we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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