She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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