Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
