You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
