its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
